Fear that makes you run The demons that you're hiding from | GlitznGrits.com

May 16, 2013

Fear that makes you run The demons that you're hiding from

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

So, when I saw today's prompt I was like, HUH! This prompt was hard for me to figure out and I almost decided to skip it. But that would defeat the purpose of Blog Every Day in May. I googled this phrase and apparently the phrase stems back to Lot in the Bible. I went to bed and was all, "oh well." But, I guess the Lord decided to speak to me via a dream and now I know what to write about. In the dream I didn't get the job in Washington but my friend did. She turned the job down out of fear and they still didn't want me.

I didn't post any graduation pictures because the few I have are awful. Instead I give you a pic I took right before graduation that ended up on the cover of the University yearbook I never received.

My life has been pretty great. Have there been challenges. You dadgum right there has been. But for the most part  I have been blessed beyond measure. I guess the thing for me would be comparing myself to others and finding my purpose in life. I have been out of college for 2-3 years now and still haven't found a "career." While I do love working with the kids in the afternoon, it is not a career. I have more education than my boss. Not that that's a problem but I would like to earn a salary and not be paid hourly. You cannot support yourself off the pay of that job. My job at the law firm in the mornings is paid hourly. Heck, I am considered on contract and they don't even take out my taxes. It's just frustrating when you work so hard for a degree that becomes nothing more than a really expensive piece of paper. It's even more frustrating to still be living at home. I love my Momma and appreciate all she does but, GAH!

I'm proud of all my friends and their accomplishments but it doesn't help when your best friend get a new teaching job this week and one of your other friends get a entry level job in Washington working her way towards a lucrative career with the State Department. Or that I have enough school loans to equal a small house. True Story.

I just try and take each day at a time. Save as much as I can. Do the best I can. And keep my eyes open for things that come my way.

But if I have to hear this convo one more time, I might bless everyone's heart and lose all my manner Momma taught me.

Them: "I see you went to SFA. What did you major in"
Me: "I double majored in Political Science and History with a minor in Gender Studies"
Them: "So do you wanna be a teacher?"

If I wanted to teach I would be teaching. Stop trying to put me in a box.

BOO, adult life. This ain't what I signed up for. Somebody just pay me to be Southern and walk around in t-shirt and Norts.

P.S. Y'all pray for all the people in North Texas hit by the tornadoes and storms last night. I was driving through a lightining storm last night and it was cray cray. I woke this morning and saw the devesation on tv and it was sad. Apparently I slept through the sirens. Guess God really wanted me to dream that dream.
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  1. Yes, yes, yes. Life after college is WAY harder than anyone told me it'd be! But you're doing great-you will figure out your purpose. It just might take a few years and a couple of 'survival jobs' to find it.


  2. You will get there, Aleshea. I didn't find the career I wanted to do until I was in my 30's! So you have plenty of time, sweetie. :)

  3. I think you are my Texan soul sister. I feel ya. I'm 27 and all around me my friends are moving up in their careers, free of student loans, with less education to speak of and big, half million dollar homes to boot. I AM a teacher but people automatically think I must love it. I HATE it. It will never be a career. It pays the bills. Ya know? It feels so awful to say I don't like teaching. But whatever. Things will get better. And I almost skipped today, too.

  4. I majored in history. Undergraduate and graduate degrees. People would ask me all the time if I was going to be a teacher. They thought I was crazy b/c I wasn't interested in that. I'm a historian. Made a pretty good living off of it too. Don't let people get you down. Historians unite :)

  5. I love love love your blogging 'voice' - have I told you that yet? Such a great post too. I stumbled onto my career - not what I studied at all. You get what you get and don't have a fit, I suppose. I will keep you in my prayers though, girl. I know how hard that can be... Keep on the positive attitude - love it!!

    P.S. Your comment on my blog today meant a lot to me. Thank you!

  6. through your blog i can tell you are a strong determined woman. you will get there

    i have a degree in english lit and history but i am not using my degree. sometimes i wonder if it was a wise idea to not have used my degree but preferred to be a mother and write with the hope to be paid one day thanks to my words.

  7. Girl, I feel your pain. There's so much I want to do that I have no idea where I "fit" and because I am married to a military man, I can't even move to where the jobs I want would be in demand. So frustrating...

  8. Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be!


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