*Waves to all my new followers*

How nice of you to join us. Let me just tell you now: I am a sweet tea (yes, I'm drinking Green Tea while typing this) , music and Texas snob. Don't like it then tough titty. It is NEVER ok to "Bless My Heart", take away my sweet tea or tell me "Oh Hello No" unless I say otherwise. Got it?! Good?

So for all the newbies, this is Life of Ms. Aleshea. In the morning I work at a swanky law firm in the riches part of Texas and in the afternoons I work across the railroad tracks in the ghetto at an after-school program for a local school district. And on a few days throughout the week I work in the nursery at my church. I love to chronicle the nonsense the kids in my life say.

During homework time

K: How they gonna call this a non fiction book? These aliens don't come to earth.

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D: Ms. Aleshea can you see without your glasses?
Me: No
D: Let me reach deep into my spine *covers and closes eyes* Ms. Aleshea you lying
Me: No ma'am
D: How many *hold up two fingers*
Me: Three

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T: Miss can I read my chapter
J: Girl, I got a better chapter than you.
K: Girl, me too
T: Y'all wanna know why I like this book? Cause his Step-dad pushed him out of the car and he got randed over.
Me:* Shakes head and walks off*

At Recess
D: Come on twin sister let's beat the homies.
(I'm always wearing different colored socks. The other day D realized that we had on almost the same socks. She was so excited and now calls me twin sister instead of Ms. Aleshea. It was annoying at first but now she makes it her mission to help out so I'm cool with it.)

During Basketball practice (I coach the team and yes we won our first game)
Dem: My threes so sexy. Look at 'em Ms. Aleshea. I'm gonna blow kisses at all the pretty girls.
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Me: You really gotta untie your shoes to take 'em off
I: Yeah and when I'm done I gotta take a shit

During snack time
(On certain days we have kids who come just for tutoring. On the days they are not in the program they still come and try and get snack.)
M: So you not gonna give me a snack?
Me: No
M: *Randomly after I told him if he had to wear a shirt that said he got swag he probably didn't have any*
 I an't no transgender.
Me: Boy hush. You don't even know what that means.
M: Yes I do. A boy be a girl and a girl be a boy. I can't explain it cause there are to many little kids around. My Ma make me watch TLC. Now can I have a snack?
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K: Ms. Aleshea, I'm slappin' my tongue with the cheese
*twenty mintues later tries to get an extra snack*
K: Ms. Aleshea, I ain't get no snack
Me: Yes, you did. Remember you were slappin your tonguw with it.
k: *Blushes and runs off.

In honor of my kiddos since they have been singing this ALL week

So this post is gonna be SUPER long and if that ain't your thing than you should click away NOW!

Y'all, let me tell you about this. So on March 9th I decided to go car shopping with the Madre. Y'all all know about Green Bean and her untimely demise at 11 years old. Well everything with through with the insurance and that was the earliest I could have gone car shopping. I knew what car I wanted and figured this would be easy peasy. Boy was I wrong. I NEVER realized this much went into buying a car. We started my going to the Ford dealership by my house. It is a small dealership in the next town over. We ended up getting a young guy who didn't know what the heck he was doing. You could tell the sales manager was nervous and kept coming over and asking us questions. I test drove the Ford Fiesta SE and fell in love. I especially loved how it told me how many more miles till my tank was on. We left that dealership because they didn't have any Fords that weren't crazy upgraded in price and features. The sales boy was annoyed cause I wanted was something where I could plug my phone in and hear my music through the speakers.

While all this was taking place I was texting the bestfran updates. She was driving into Dallas and we were supposed to hang out that week with one of my other bestfriends. After we went to the KIA dealership in the same town.I was filliping out the whole time because I DID NOT want a KIA and I was just there to please my Momma. Y'all I thought that man was gonna talk my Momma into another one of those God forsaken cars. (The check from the insurance was put into her account since she was the owner of Green Bean. Daddy bought that crappy KIA when I was in HS and it was given to me after he passed away. Momma decided to keep it cause it was almost paid off and I was gonna need a car.) Long story short we left KIA and then headed to church to help out with some things. I kept calling/texting the bestfirend and she agreed to meet us for lunch and go with us to a bigger Ford Dealership by my church. Y'all this is where the fun begins.

Insert photo of the paper Mo kept trying to make a deal with us on . 

So after we had lunch we headed over to the dealership. It was just down the road. I rode over with Steph,  the bestfrand. My Momma beat us there and she said before she could even get out the car, Mo was already at her car bugging her. He was like, "Ma'am who are you hear to meet? Do you have an appointment? Well, get out and let me help you." After my Momma told him why we were there he saw me drive up with the bestie and got excited. He thought we were trading in her car. She drives a 2013 Ford Edge. When we pull up and get out the car Steph is already on the defense. She kept cutting him off and one upping him. You could tell he was trying to keep a straight face and not get annoyed by her. Did I fail to mention that Mo was our age and a recent college graduate. He was also trying to get in my pants the whole time. I was like dang, he thinks he's gonna rip me off and then get with me. We test drove ANOTHER Ford Fiesta SE and then my Momma ran inside to go pee and that left us alone with Mo. Steph, started lying and telling him we had been to ALL these dealerships and had all these options. When he found out we had already been to a Ford Dealership that day he got excited and was like, " So the dealership wasn't the right fit" She cut him off and was like no maybe it was the car. He kept going on and on about how this would be our last stop and he was what we were looking for. He asked how long we had been friends and all that jazz. I was like we've known each other FOREVER. She knew me back when I had braces, thick big glasses and always wore this high ponytail in my hair. I also told him that she was my financial adviser. I was like, " Someone is looking to rip me off today and she' s here to make sure that doesn't happen. 

Finally I pick out a car and color (he was annoyed by that too. Momma ain't raise no fool and I know the color of a car can make a huge difference) and we go into his cubical to try and make a deal with him. (You can tell he is already staring to get annoyed by the best friend. It was my car but she was doing all the work and my Momma was just there to co-sign and sign over the down payment to me) Y'all we spent FOUR FREAKING HOURS. Yes, I said four hours with Mo trying to make a deal. This doesn't even count all the other people we had to see. He kept getting upset cause Steph was sending back everything he offered. That poor boy kept having to run back and forth to the financial man At one point she told him. " You wanna keep your belt has the top salesman of the week don't ya" He even asked for a card to hold the car cause she wouldn't agree on anything he kept offering and she goes. "obviously were serious or we wouldn't have sat here for almost four hours" You could tell this poor boy was getting angrier with each passing minute and he really wanted this sale.When he kept saying. "Well someone has to pay for this" Steph would go, "Why not you. You got more money than my bestfriend" By this time a few people are perking there ears up and listening in the cubicals around us (they were glass) Finally after about four hours and no deal he tell us that the finincial man who was making hin the deals to send to us just wants to meet us. We walk over and by this time ALL the sales guys are crowded around watching. Steph goes up to the counter. Has a few words with the man. He asked her how much I wanted to pay a month. She says $200. He looks at her and goes, "I'll do it for 214." She looks at me and I say deal. Y'all Mo was SOO pissed. He was trying to make me pay almost 300 a month. Mo throws his hands up and goes seriously. I walk over and go you mad ain't you. He was like no I'm not mad. I was like yes you are but it's ok. Then I went, "I told you someone was looking to rip me off today and I brought her to make sure this didn't happen." Finally, he comes up to us right before I officially signed my life away and goes, " Yeah I was mad. But I ain't anymore cause I got the sale. Y'all made me look bad and all those sales guys crowded around. I got duped by a bunch of girls my own age" Steph then goes, " Don't feel bad. You got off better than the last guy. I tore him a new asshole cause he tried to sale me a car over MSRP." Then I had to go sign all these papers and do GAP junk. They didn't even try and argue when Steph told them I couldn't afford all that insurance stuff. They immediately dropped my interest rate and gave me all that junk.Y'all I got the car for like 5,000 less than the price they were trying to sale them at the dealership for. After we left Steph was like, " They really weren't ripping you off  and have like the lowest prices in DFW but I wanted a better deal. My Momma ended up leaving us at the dealership to sign some things and this is when Mo was really trying to get at it. Hahah, Steph ripped him off and cock blocked all at the same time. I know that poor boy was pissed and embarrassed.