Mar 29, 2013

Life of Ms. Aleshea {Week 5}

*Waves to all my new followers*
How nice of you to join us. Let me just tell you now: I am a sweet tea (yes, I'm drinking Green Tea while typing this) , music and Texas snob. Don't like it then tough titty. It is NEVER ok to "Bless My Heart", take away my sweet tea or tell me "Oh Hello No" unless I say otherwise. Got it?! Good?

So for all the newbies, this is Life of Ms. Aleshea. In the morning I work at a swanky law firm in the riches part of Texas and in the afternoons I work across the railroad tracks in the ghetto at an after-school program for a local school district. And on a few days throughout the week I work in the nursery at my church. I love to chronicle the nonsense the kids in my life say.

During homework time
K: How they gonna call this a non fiction book? These aliens don't come to earth.
D: Ms. Aleshea can you see without your glasses?
Me: No
D: Let me reach deep into my spine *covers and closes eyes* Ms. Aleshea you lying
Me: No ma'am
D: How many *hold up two fingers*
Me: Three
T: Miss can I read my chapter
J: Girl, I got a better chapter than you.
K: Girl, me too
T: Y'all wanna know why I like this book? Cause his Step-dad pushed him out of the car and he got randed over.
Me:* Shakes head and walks off*
At Recess
D: Come on twin sister let's beat the homies.
(I'm always wearing different colored socks. The other day D realized that we had on almost the same socks. She was so excited and now calls me twin sister instead of Ms. Aleshea. It was annoying at first but now she makes it her mission to help out so I'm cool with it.)

During Basketball practice (I coach the team and yes we won our first game)
Dem: My threes so sexy. Look at 'em Ms. Aleshea. I'm gonna blow kisses at all the pretty girls.
Me: You really gotta untie your shoes to take 'em off
I: Yeah and when I'm done I gotta take a shit

During snack time
(On certain days we have kids who come just for tutoring. On the days they are not in the program they still come and try and get snack.)
M: So you not gonna give me a snack?
Me: No
M: *Randomly after I told him if he had to wear a shirt that said he got swag he probably didn't have any*
 I an't no transgender.
Me: Boy hush. You don't even know what that means.
M: Yes I do. A boy be a girl and a girl be a boy. I can't explain it cause there are to many little kids around. My Ma make me watch TLC. Now can I have a snack?
K: Ms. Aleshea, I'm slappin' my tongue with the cheese
*twenty mintues later tries to get an extra snack*
K: Ms. Aleshea, I ain't get no snack
Me: Yes, you did. Remember you were slappin your tonguw with it.
k: *Blushes and runs off.

Thrift Shop by Macklemore on Grooveshark
In honor of my kiddos since they have been singing this ALL week

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Mar 28, 2013

Take it back. Take it WAYY Back!

I typed this while eating grits out of a paper cup.
1. Please follow us and visit all my lovely co-hosts!
 Julia from A Blonde Walked Into A Blog 
 Jennifer from Sweet Southern Wife

and our lovely co-host
Misty from Handbags & Handguns
Lindsay from Life On Countryside
Aleshea from Glitz & Grits
Tanika from Growing Gracie

2. Write a post about your past
this can be anything from last week's horrible date, to prom 2004, to an embarrassing journal entry, etc.

3. grab the button and link up

So I've done this before and I had TONS of fun with it and thought I would do it again. If y'all missed the last time I posted when it was Take it back Tuesday then you REALLY missed out. Click this pretty little link and you can see ALL the tack hairbows my Momma used to put me into. 

Y'all ready...

This edition of Throwback Thursday shall focus on Music.  And when I say music I mean the SPICE FREAKIN' GIRLS. I  am not ashamed to admit I was obsessed with them growing up. I had the movie  on VHS and DVD.  I had the dolls and the clothes. We pretended to be the Spice Girls at daycare. Y'all don't even know. I remember when they broke up and everyone was freaking out that the movie might not get released. It was summer and every week the older kids at daycare got to take a fieldtrip. I single handily convinced the staff and my Momma (she was the director of the childcare facility  that all the kids wanted to see the Spice Girls Movie and that is what we should do for our field trip. It worked.

Spice girls are at the top of the list for the most inappropriate songs wrapped in bubble gum pop that all the youngin's love. A few years back when they had their big reunion I went. I saved up and then bought tickets across country to see the concert with a friend. After we bought the tickets she bailed and I freaked out. Not only did I just buy really expensive tickets for a concert across country but I had no one to go with me and had to tell my mom what I had done. She was not pleased in the least bit but it all ended up working out and we had an amazing time. Some people thought we were crazy to spend all that money for a concert that was only like an hour and a half  and then flying back right after the concert cause we had exams, but I don't think we were crazy cause we were living a child hood dream.

 "Be a little bit wiser baby, put it on" Y'all growing up that was my favorite line and I would sing the heck out of it. Why why why did my Momma let me listen to this. 

And what is this? Gettin' will all her friends will give her AIDS. And they wonder why the girls are so loose these days. SMH!

I give you me fangirling at the spice girls concert back in college. I should be embarrassed by this video but I'm gonna choose not to be. But seriously what was I wearing. Why did my Momma let me out the house with my hair like that. Why did my friends let me wear these glasses for years and not tell me I looked like Urkle... I have so many questions and not enough answers.

Yes, I went to the NKOTBSB Reunion Tour. That was even worse cause some of the fangirls were entirely TOO old. I am trying to convince two of my bestfrans to go to the NKOTB, 98 Degrees, boys 2 Men Concert. Now that is something I need to see.

N'SYNC where you at? SClub7 I know that reunion y'all tired to do last year failed but I need y'all to get it together and try again.
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Mar 25, 2013

MHMP: This Means We Won a Car

So this post is gonna be SUPER long and if that ain't your thing than you should click away NOW!

So y'all remember three weeks ago when I bought a car and then promised pictures for like 16 days...well, that is what this post shall be. Grab some sweet tea and get ready to hear all about my shenanigans from the past three weeks that I have failed to update y'all on. Y'all have already heard enough of my excuses on why this post is like three post in one and is super late so y'all shall just have to deal.insert crappy picture the bestie took right after I purchased the car. Don't worry there's a funny story to be had!With the bestie at the car dealership not impressed by Mo our cars salesman.

Y'all, let me tell you about this. So on March 9th I decided to go car shopping with the Madre. Y'all all know about Green Bean and her untimely demise at 11 years old. Well everything with through with the insurance and that was the earliest I could have gone car shopping. I knew what car I wanted and figured this would be easy peasy. Boy was I wrong. I NEVER realized this much went into buying a car. We started my going to the Ford dealership by my house. It is a small dealership in the next town over. We ended up getting a young guy who didn't know what the heck he was doing. You could tell the sales manager was nervous and kept coming over and asking us questions. I test drove the Ford Fiesta SE and fell in love. I especially loved how it told me how many more miles till my tank was on. We left that dealership because they didn't have any Fords that weren't crazy upgraded in price and features. The sales boy was annoyed cause I wanted was something where I could plug my phone in and hear my music through the speakers.

While all this was taking place I was texting the bestfran updates. She was driving into Dallas and we were supposed to hang out that week with one of my other bestfriends. After we went to the KIA dealership in the same town.I was filliping out the whole time because I DID NOT want a KIA and I was just there to please my Momma. Y'all I thought that man was gonna talk my Momma into another one of those God forsaken cars. (The check from the insurance was put into her account since she was the owner of Green Bean. Daddy bought that crappy KIA when I was in HS and it was given to me after he passed away. Momma decided to keep it cause it was almost paid off and I was gonna need a car.) Long story short we left KIA and then headed to church to help out with some things. I kept calling/texting the bestfirend and she agreed to meet us for lunch and go with us to a bigger Ford Dealership by my church. Y'all this is where the fun begins.

Insert photo of the paper Mo kept trying to make a deal with us on . 

So after we had lunch we headed over to the dealership. It was just down the road. I rode over with Steph,  the bestfrand. My Momma beat us there and she said before she could even get out the car, Mo was already at her car bugging her. He was like, "Ma'am who are you hear to meet? Do you have an appointment? Well, get out and let me help you." After my Momma told him why we were there he saw me drive up with the bestie and got excited. He thought we were trading in her car. She drives a 2013 Ford Edge. When we pull up and get out the car Steph is already on the defense. She kept cutting him off and one upping him. You could tell he was trying to keep a straight face and not get annoyed by her. Did I fail to mention that Mo was our age and a recent college graduate. He was also trying to get in my pants the whole time. I was like dang, he thinks he's gonna rip me off and then get with me. We test drove ANOTHER Ford Fiesta SE and then my Momma ran inside to go pee and that left us alone with Mo. Steph, started lying and telling him we had been to ALL these dealerships and had all these options. When he found out we had already been to a Ford Dealership that day he got excited and was like, " So the dealership wasn't the right fit" She cut him off and was like no maybe it was the car. He kept going on and on about how this would be our last stop and he was what we were looking for. He asked how long we had been friends and all that jazz. I was like we've known each other FOREVER. She knew me back when I had braces, thick big glasses and always wore this high ponytail in my hair. I also told him that she was my financial adviser. I was like, " Someone is looking to rip me off today and she' s here to make sure that doesn't happen. 

Finally I pick out a car and color (he was annoyed by that too. Momma ain't raise no fool and I know the color of a car can make a huge difference) and we go into his cubical to try and make a deal with him. (You can tell he is already staring to get annoyed by the best friend. It was my car but she was doing all the work and my Momma was just there to co-sign and sign over the down payment to me) Y'all we spent FOUR FREAKING HOURS. Yes, I said four hours with Mo trying to make a deal. This doesn't even count all the other people we had to see. He kept getting upset cause Steph was sending back everything he offered. That poor boy kept having to run back and forth to the financial man At one point she told him. " You wanna keep your belt has the top salesman of the week don't ya" He even asked for a card to hold the car cause she wouldn't agree on anything he kept offering and she goes. "obviously were serious or we wouldn't have sat here for almost four hours" You could tell this poor boy was getting angrier with each passing minute and he really wanted this sale.When he kept saying. "Well someone has to pay for this" Steph would go, "Why not you. You got more money than my bestfriend" By this time a few people are perking there ears up and listening in the cubicals around us (they were glass) Finally after about four hours and no deal he tell us that the finincial man who was making hin the deals to send to us just wants to meet us. We walk over and by this time ALL the sales guys are crowded around watching. Steph goes up to the counter. Has a few words with the man. He asked her how much I wanted to pay a month. She says $200. He looks at her and goes, "I'll do it for 214." She looks at me and I say deal. Y'all Mo was SOO pissed. He was trying to make me pay almost 300 a month. Mo throws his hands up and goes seriously. I walk over and go you mad ain't you. He was like no I'm not mad. I was like yes you are but it's ok. Then I went, "I told you someone was looking to rip me off today and I brought her to make sure this didn't happen." Finally, he comes up to us right before I officially signed my life away and goes, " Yeah I was mad. But I ain't anymore cause I got the sale. Y'all made me look bad and all those sales guys crowded around. I got duped by a bunch of girls my own age" Steph then goes, " Don't feel bad. You got off better than the last guy. I tore him a new asshole cause he tried to sale me a car over MSRP." Then I had to go sign all these papers and do GAP junk. They didn't even try and argue when Steph told them I couldn't afford all that insurance stuff. They immediately dropped my interest rate and gave me all that junk.Y'all I got the car for like 5,000 less than the price they were trying to sale them at the dealership for. After we left Steph was like, " They really weren't ripping you off  and have like the lowest prices in DFW but I wanted a better deal. My Momma ended up leaving us at the dealership to sign some things and this is when Mo was really trying to get at it. Hahah, Steph ripped him off and cock blocked all at the same time. I know that poor boy was pissed and embarrassed. 

Then I spent the week hanging out with the bestfrans. Steph lives in a small town outside of San Antonio and I NEVER see her. She was back home since her kiddos were on Spring Break. She is a HS AG teacher. Casey lives in DFW but she is ALWAYS so busy that I don't get to see her as much as I would like either.

Fastforward to the next weekend. I spent that Friday Night downtown with my Ride or Die and her boyfran Billy.

Then that Saturday my Middle Godbrother, daughter turned seven and we partied like we were seven.

Then this past weekend I had a Cajun dinner with the fam on Saturday night.

I also went shopping and stocked up on some Sweet Tea Lemonade as well as Cheese Grits.I know both of these are fake compared to the real thing but I don't care and love them immensely. 

Yesterday my church had their annual Worlds Largest Easter Egg Hunt. This years wasn't as big as past years because of the cold weather but I know everyone who did show up has tons of fun.

Welp, that's all I got. Now y'all are updated on my life from like the past three weekends.
Enjoy you nosy roseys.

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