Song of the day in honor of my kiddos: " I'm different yeah I'm different"
I've decided to start adding the things my kiddos say at church too since they are just as funny as the poor kids.
Kids at church
Z: I'm bout to be bapmatized in May.
A: He goes like this in the name of Jesus. *Starts demonstrating the pastor and pretends to fall on the ground*
A: No, I have to listen to her cause I'm 'bout to be five.
Kids at wok
D: I tried to get you to read this to me but you weren't listening. You so hard headed. (Same boy who always wants help on his essays)
Other D: "My shit be on point... Oops my stuff be on point"
Me: "Don't you know any other words?"
Other D: Long pause.... "No!"
A: "Ms. Aleshea, D says she's God. Is she God?
Me: *After I finishing laughing* Does she look like God?
C: "Ms. Aleshea, Ms. Aleshea, C! was doing this to A. (Starts thrusting in the air like he is humping a girl)
C!: Runs over to me and starts yellin, " no no no I wasn't"
C: Yes you were. Stop being nasty before you go to jail.
After a teacher quit cause some kid stole her two dollars:
K: "Ms. Aleshea it was only two dollars. Is that all the money she had?
Me: "Yes, that was her last two dollars"
K: Starts laughing like crazy and goes, "Dang, she poor. I bet I get more money than her. I get 30 dollars a month taking out peoples trash. How much y'all make in a day again?"
Me: Hey, J, I thought you said you was getting braces
J: "Man. Ms. Aleshea, Medicaid be trippin'
Me: Oh really.
Dear Kiddos: Thanks for making my life each and every day with the outlandish things you say. Y'all don't know how much I enjoy your nonsense.
Dear Car Hunting: Please go smoothly tomorrow.
Dear Y'all: HA! I guess I'm back. To bad I didn't bring a rich husband who lavishes me with Sweet Tea.