Oh Hello No!

Rants and Raves

So my girl Shannon started this new link-up ( I call her my girl cause she was my first follower that wasn't family and it made me feel better about myself.) I can't promise that I will link up every week but I've had some things on my mind and this was the perfect opportunity to express them. Y'all don't worry, I haven't forgot about the life update/pics of my new car I promised y'all. I'm working on that post. HA! I've been working on that post for like two weeks. Shame, shame shame. 
Well, shall we get started so I can go back to my coffee. 

1. All the boys trying to bust my chops yesterday over my March Madness Bracket. While we are on the subject: people who pee standing up make me extra angry when it comes to sports. Yes I am a girl. Yes I know about sports. Just because I don't walk around looking like a boy with my hat on backwards and my hands in my pants doesn't mean I'm stupid when it comes to these things. It also pisses me off when they dismiss me or don't give me the time of day. Last time I checked 12 of my 16 picks for yesterdays games won and yours didn't. So run a lap and have several seats. 

2. Dallas drivers. I have told y'all before that I hate the way people drive around here... especially rich people. Next to LA and NYC I think we have the worst traffic. I know we have the worst traffic of all the cities in the South.The fact that I was less than a mile from work the other day but it took me twenty minutes to pull into the work parking garage IS NOT OK. Y'all we were sitting at green lights. SITTIN' AT FREAKIN' GREEN LIGHTS! Rich people don't buy a fancy care if you are scared to drive it. And while we are at it. I know my car is not as expensive as yours but heck it's only three weeks old and probably the most expensive things I've bought next to my College Tuition. I'd like you to respect it as much as I respect you when your on the road. I should not have to leave my house and hour and a half before work just to BARELY get there on time. This is NOT OK.

3. The creepy rapist men (yes I said men) who are on a raping spree near the elementary school I work at in the afternoon. What in Gods name is wrong with y'alls tales. I swear all y'alls Momma's ain't whip you enough as a child.

4. Oh MO, you car salesman you. It was not cool of you to try and get in my pants. You thought you was slick. You figured you would rip me off and than have a chance at me. To bad for you that I brought best friend numero uno. Not only did you not get in my pants but she ripped you off and cock blocked all in the process. You were so mad but it gave me great satisfaction.You thought I was joking when I said someone is looking to rip me off today and it ain't gonna happen.. I win!

5. Dear parent who came at me all incorrectly  It is not my fault that you can't raise your kid and now he is on the verge of getting kicked out of the after school program. It is not my job to parent your kid. My job is to feed him snack, help him with his homework, make sure he gets some physical activity and stimulates his mind, all the while providing a safe environment that he feels he can come to. Your child makes the environment not safe for others students and YOU need to get it together. There is a rapist on the loose and we do not have time to deal with your antics. We have more pressing matters at hand thank you. You lucky my Momma taught me better and I know how to turn on the white girl/ professional voice/ charm at the drop of a dime. I ain't from the hood but I can be hood if you would like. 

6. Butter London! There is no reason your nail polish should cost 15 dollars a bottle. I expected magical powers to manifest on my nails and I am upset that they did not. I am also upset because I haven't even had the nail polish on my nails a full week and my nails are already looking like a homely crack head. For 15 dollars a bottle I feel like my nails should have painted themselves. Somewhere y'all are laughing at me cause you trolled me good. 

7. Congress! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. I know the average Amerian has no clue what is going on but I do and it ain't ok. Honestly Mr. President, you have more important things to worry about then your March Madness Bracket. And btw's your pic STINKS just like your foreign policy. I don't know who you paid but I know you paid someone. There ain't no way Isreal just decided to honor you out of the goodness of their heart. 

End rants!

1. Jesus! Thanks for helping me out when I kept screwing up royally this week. You really had my back and I am SOOO thankful. 

2. Oh United States Navy. Thanks for finally releasing my bestie from your ever-loving ship and keeping him stateside. We missed him and it was SOO rude of you to hold him hostage for the past four years. 

3. Kory! Thanks for defending us. Now come visit me. I missed you ho and it wasn't right of your to give the Navy so much attention.

4. Dustin Lynch: Thanks for tweeting me the other day. I lost my mind I was so excited. 

5. Community Coffee, thanks for saving my behind this week. You're always there for me even when no one else is. 

6. Controller: Thanks for giving me my check early. My grubby hands thank you SOO much. I'm already spending the money in my head. I'm sure my bank/ car company/school loan company thank you as well cause now they know they will get their money on time. 

7. American Idol Voters: Thanks for sending Paul Jolly home. I don't care if the producers are pulling strings behind the curtain. He couldn't even do fake Pop Country well. 

End Raves

That's all I got kiddos!
Check back later for that update y'all been waiting for. 

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  1. LOVE your rants!!! I am the same way when it comes to sports!! I can hold my own but men think they are so much smarter!! And come on Mr President....there are more important things to worry about!!!

  2. i agree, the traffic in dallas is the worst! used to live there and i hated it :(


  3. Rants
    2. CLEARLY never driven in Houston cause babey we got yall beat on bad, terrible no good drivers!

    5. Nothing ticks me off more than bad tail kids whose parents let them run wild then blame YOU for it. No ma'am no sir

    2. Glad your friend is home safely!

    You are hilarious...and while I may not comment often I read often!

  4. :) yep! on pretty much all of that. i don't miss crazy parents. at all.

  5. Hi there. I'm your newest follower via a blog hop. I'm Laney and here's my link http://pinkowl07.blogspot.com/ Would love for you to follow me back. And check out my blog hop and link up. It's an Easter one. Thanks. Hope you have a great Thursday. Looking forward to reading more of your blog and hearing from you.


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