While you laughin' we're passing, passing away So y'all go rest y'all souls

I guess it's the ENTJ in me but feelings really ain't my thing so we shall see how this goes.

Senior year of High School and I was out with one of my Momma's friends. She pulls up in front of our house and I see Green Bean parked in the front. I get really excited and rush in the house cause this mean my Daddy is home early from work. I'm yelling, "Daddy where you at", only to have my dreams crushed when I realize my Daddy is home but not my home. So I sat in the living. Just sat. Almost a year later and I think that is when I realized my life was gonna be different from here on out.

You know something I've never really understood... Preachers when they talk about death. You know, you're sitting in church and the Pastor starts talking about how you should give God praise for waking you up this morning cause you could be dead. If Heaven is the ultimate goal and greater than anything we can imagine, why would we be so excited to still be here? I don't know about y'all but that is something I think about on Sunday mornings during praise and worship. It fascinates me to know end.

I remember a short time after my daddy passed my mama would be on the phone with people whispering about me. She had been given some books on grief. One of the books talked about children who didn't show much emotion after a tragic event in life happens. Apparently the books says that I will break down at a more pivotal point in life like a wedding are graduation. She was always walking on eggshells and waiting for something that never came. I wish people would realize that not everyone copes with things the same way

Over the past so many years others have tried to analyze me as well. They are always telling me what they think I need to hear. I say nonsense the whole lot of it. No one really knows what they will do until they are faced with said situation. When you grow up with a parent who is always sick you learn to expect the unexpected and always be prepared. People find it odd, but I'm at peace. But you know why? Because the last words I said to my Daddy before he died was I love you. And the last words he ever spoke as he looked me in the eyes was, "I love you to. I promise I'm alright!"

Whelp, there's my attempt at being all emotional and sharing something on my heart. Ugh, why must Jenni give us these prompts.

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  1. I can't imagine this. What you said at the end is so important, though. Imagine the regret of having said something different. Glad you know where he truly is.

  2. that is so incredibly hard. but the factthat you are at peace with it is really all that matters.

  3. awww you are such a strong person!! Especially for sharing this!

  4. You are so right...not everyone grieves the same. Not everyone needs to grieve. Thanks for sharing this

  5. I hate that people expect everyone to grieve the same way. You are so right that it is different for everyone. Thanks for sharing, I know putting feelings out there is hard!

  6. For sure no one can know unless they go through it. And how amazing that those were your last words to each other. It sounds like you knew how to live life with him just right.

  7. Last words to anybody is really important. I'm glad yours to your daddy was love. :)


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