"If Heaven was a Pie, it'd be Cherry"

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love, and of a sound mind.

Story Time:
Growing up I was terrified of Thunder Storms. Looking back I don't know why.  I live in Texas; where it never rains. Y'all a few weeks ago Seattle got the same amount of rain we got ALL of last year in one day. Gah, Aleshea... stay on topic. Opps, blogging out loud again. My Momma said I would stand on the side of the tub after my baths and preach 2 Timothy 1:7. In honor of today's post I give you a pic of me peaching. Y'all look, I got the hands going and everything.

Well, that story didn't serve any real purpose did it? So, how to actually attack this post. Y'all forgive me. Sometimes I like to blog out loud. I try and write how things sound in my head. Sometimes It doesn't always come across the way I think it should. Other times I say who gives a frack. 

I could go the superficial route and tell y'all that: (insects and hotel mattresses freak me out. Or that at three years old I got my foot stuck in an escalator and it scared me for life. So much so that at the age of nine a kid from church pushed me head first down an escalator that was a couple stories high. The years following said incident were the worst for my Momma cause she had to walk all those flights of stairs with me. Or that I almost drowned when I was six. My Momma and Daddy then decided that it was imperative I learn how to swim. They covered me in flotation devices, threw me in the deep end and then told me to swim to the edge.  Why they never figured this would scar me further i'll never know. You'd think they would have taught common sense at the fancy smancy college Daddy attended) but I won't.

Instead I'll tell you how the REAL fear plays round and round in my head: The day has come. I've waited for this day for as long as I was in existence. There is no more day and night. I have no need because just as the Bible said, the Lord would give me light... he has. I walk past the heavy gates. I smile with pride as the guard says, "Well done my good and faithful servant". I never imagined those gates could be so heavy. I feel more alive than I have ever felt. I by pass the sweet tea and shrimp and grits. I am so astonished at these streets lined with gold. The mansions with many rooms are even more beautiful than in the stories I was told as a child. There is much to see but that can wait. Yes, it can wait because there is something I've been waiting forever to do. I begin to run. And run like the wind. Forrest Gump has nothing on me. Wait, I wonder if he's here somewhere. Gah, focus Aleshea. Even in here you have a scattered mind. Remember you are on a mission there is something that must be done. I race the streets of gold. I search the many rooms. And then I stop. I stop because my search has come up empty. And in that moment I stand there heartbroken for all of eternity. I realize there are to many people in Heaven and I cannot recognize my Daddy!

Love is What we are Born With. Fear is What we Learned Here
-----Marianne Williamson

Welp, day 7 of 31 just left me emotionally naked. I honestly don't know how I feel about this.

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  1. I love this post. You spoke so well through it. I'm afraid of dying, too. It's a huge fear of mine. I can't comprehend it which is the biggest problem...
    Anyway, I love your writing and I'm a new follower! So don't be all freaked out when you see my name pop up over your social media. Love your writing!


  2. Great post. Your writing is beautiful. I wish I could say something to soothe that fear; thank you for being so real.

  3. WOW, well done today girl!

    I'm scared of dying and Heaven too. And I want to be able to immediately find all of my loved ones too!

  4. Omg, look how stinking CUTE you are!!! I want to squeeze Little Aleshea!

    You should *seriously* consider writing a book... I would totally buy it. I SO enjoy your writing.

    This breaks my heart a little. Being lost and empty for all eternity is a legit fear. Very scary!

    And lastly, I'm craving shrimp 'n grits now!

  5. So tender and yet so devastating. I think God will make sure that we recognize all our loved ones. But it is the unknown that scares the beJesus out of us, isn't it?

  6. Ha! Hearing you loud and clear from up here in Seattle! Enough with the freakin' rain, already!!!

  7. I can't say anything. Just that I was here.

  8. Oh and that I'm a new follower. shoot how could I forget that?

  9. You have a way with words.
    That does sound pretty scary. Dying is scary enough. Not being able to recognized loved ones? Even worse.

  10. This was beautifully written and werent you just the most adorable kiddo? I actually had a dream after my father's death (it happened three or four times) in which I didnt recognize him and we were sitting talking to each other. Finally after a short conversation I noticed who he was and said to him "OH Dad, Its you! I thought you were supposed to be dead." and every time he says "Yeah I am I was just checking in but I gotta go now."and then he faded out. Im glad I recognized him eventually. You will too. It was more a feeling in the dream than an ability to see him for who he was.

  11. oh hey, thanks for stopping by my site today...Im off to explore the rest of yours!

  12. First of all, I'm afraid of escalators, too. I saw an episode of 911: Emergency where a kid got sucked into one, and it's scarred me ever since.

    Second, this post is awesome. The way that you write is the way that I think... Great post.

  13. Ahhh hotel mattresses - gross!! Wouldn't it be great if those kinds of things were the only fears we had though? Life would be so much easier!

  14. I have no doubt you will recognize the ones you love. Nice post.

  15. Obviously I never met your dad but from the photos I've seen something tells me it would be like looking in a mirror.

    Thank you for sharing <3


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