Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love, and of a sound mind.
Story Time: Growing up I was terrified of Thunder Storms. Looking back I don't know why. I live in Texas; where it never rains. Y'all a few weeks ago Seattle got the same amount of rain we got ALL of last year in one day. Gah, Aleshea... stay on topic. Opps, blogging out loud again. My Momma said I would stand on the side of the tub after my baths and preach 2 Timothy 1:7. In honor of today's post I give you a pic of me peaching. Y'all look, I got the hands going and everything.
Well, that story didn't serve any real purpose did it? So, how to actually attack this post. Y'all forgive me. Sometimes I like to blog out loud. I try and write how things sound in my head. Sometimes It doesn't always come across the way I think it should. Other times I say who gives a frack.
I could go the superficial route and tell y'all that: (insects and hotel mattresses freak me out. Or that at three years old I got my foot stuck in an escalator and it scared me for life. So much so that at the age of nine a kid from church pushed me head first down an escalator that was a couple stories high. The years following said incident were the worst for my Momma cause she had to walk all those flights of stairs with me. Or that I almost drowned when I was six. My Momma and Daddy then decided that it was imperative I learn how to swim. They covered me in flotation devices, threw me in the deep end and then told me to swim to the edge. Why they never figured this would scar me further i'll never know. You'd think they would have taught common sense at the fancy smancy college Daddy attended) but I won't.
Instead I'll tell you how the REAL fear plays round and round in my head: The day has come. I've waited for this day for as long as I was in existence. There is no more day and night. I have no need because just as the Bible said, the Lord would give me light... he has. I walk past the heavy gates. I smile with pride as the guard says, "Well done my good and faithful servant". I never imagined those gates could be so heavy. I feel more alive than I have ever felt. I by pass the sweet tea and shrimp and grits. I am so astonished at these streets lined with gold. The mansions with many rooms are even more beautiful than in the stories I was told as a child. There is much to see but that can wait. Yes, it can wait because there is something I've been waiting forever to do. I begin to run. And run like the wind. Forrest Gump has nothing on me. Wait, I wonder if he's here somewhere. Gah, focus Aleshea. Even in here you have a scattered mind. Remember you are on a mission there is something that must be done. I race the streets of gold. I search the many rooms. And then I stop. I stop because my search has come up empty. And in that moment I stand there heartbroken for all of eternity. I realize there are to many people in Heaven and I cannot recognize my Daddy!
Welp, day 7 of 31 just left me emotionally naked. I honestly don't know how I feel about this.